After a rough 2017, I was totally looking forward to a clean slate and starting 2018 on a very positive note. When FitApproach asked me to be a part of the #IAMLIMITLESS campaign, it was at the perfect time. I had been floundering at the end of 2017, stuck in a rut where, like I mentioned in my Resolution Run recap, I was sitting on the couch being sucked into iPhone games when I wasn’t working.
I had gone from being incredibly motivated to being lazy, not able to motivate myself to do anything but eat & sleep when I wasn’t working or traveling. But as Sean & I were hiking up the boulders on New Year’s Eve, I realized that I was giving into my fears. Somewhere along the way last year, I got sucked into all the drama I was seeing on Facebook and scared myself out of leaving my house. How did that happen?
As I was climbing up those boulders, some of which were significantly bigger than I was, I knew that I had to push past my fears if I wanted to reach my goals. One of my biggest fears, the one that most likely let all the Facebook drama win, failure. But fail at what? Running.
Now why would I say I’m afraid to fail at running. I’ve done 42 half marathons, 17 marathons, 7 50ks, 2 50 milers & a 100k. I’ve DNF’d at 4 races so obviously I’m not afraid of not finishing. But what if I actually worked really hard & I failed? I was putting all this pressure on myself before I even started.
It was time to put all that and all the baggage from 2017 behind me and push past these limits I put on myself. Let’s see what happens then. I’ve already seen that at the end of a long week of running I can almost beat my half marathon PR, with little training, so what could I do if I actually trained.
After seeing Billy Yang’s newest film, The Why, it was important to share my Why (re: Running) with you, my friends and followers. It was something I’ve been pondering for months, since I got injured. Why do I want to do this?
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Why? Why do we choose to run 13.1, 26.2, 50 or even a 100 miles? (Long post alert 😉) . . Last night @ultrarunnersd & I went to see @billyyangfilms new movie The Why, about his 100 mile journey at Leadville 100. You’ll definitely want to check it out on YouTube. . . It made me ask the question to myself. And honestly I probably ask myself that exact question during almost every race. Why do we do this? . . I don’t have a grand story of where I started running because I was overweight, drinking too much or doing drugs (I’ve never touched them), I wasn’t abused & I didn’t have a horrible childhood or any of those things that are so common to hear about. I’ve run off and on my whole life. I guess I started endurance running, honestly because maybe I gained 5-10 lbs & didn’t like the way my stomach looked in photos, I was modeling at the time (I still don’t like my stomach in photos but I digress). Then it was the challenge, I’d never gone over 3 miles, could I get to 5, 6, 10 & then 13.1. Then it was could I go 26.2. If I hadn’t met Sean I’d probably have stayed with the marathon, not really knowing much about ultras. . . The Why for me has changed in the 8 years I’ve been running endurance events. At first it was to see if I could do it, then it was to see if I could go faster. When I got injured last year, I lost my Why, I honestly didn’t know why I was doing this. I don’t enjoy the lows, like a lot of people do. Was I doing it because that’s what I always did or because Sean does? I didn’t know. . . After a lot of pondering this question over the last year, I’ve come up with a few reasons. First, no matter how slow it is, there is something magical about crossing that finishline. Knowing that you did it. Second, the places you get to see, explore & adventure in. And finally, the people. Runners, especially ultra runners are such an inclusive, welcoming, supportive group of people. . . What is your why?
My biggest goals for 2018? Explore, adventure, try new things and enjoy every minute.
Now that I’ve seen that I can almost beat my half PR, I definitely want to crush that. I’d love to go under 4 hours in the marathon, get a Western States qualifier & do my first 100 miler. I want to find a group of people to run & to train with (when we are in town).
I have a bunch of races on the schedule for the first half of the year. I’m looking forward to doing a mix of shorter distances along with ultras as well. We are working on our summer/fall schedule now that the lotteries are pretty much finished, with hopefully a few new races on the schedule.
I’m also looking forward to visiting some new places while revisiting places we’ve been before. We have been traveling a lot & we have a tendency to revisit places quite often so we decided to kick off the year with a trip to a new to us destination, Borrego Springs on the edge of San Diego County & home to one of the largest state park in California, Anza Borrego Desert State Park. If the wives tale saying what you do on New Year’s is what you do all year is true, if we visit somewhere new hopefully we’ll visit a lot of new places ;).
And on that note, we’ve already booked our first trip to visit Yosemite in May. I’m so excited to finally get to visit!
I’ve been dealing with a lot of digestive distress, so I’m transitioning to a vegan diet and completely eliminated dairy & eggs. I’m looking forward to fixing my gut & getting back to feeling better in that area.
Some of this years goals are more broad than I’ve done in the past but as the year goes on, I’ll flesh them out as I push past my limits.
Have you ever imposed limits on yourself? How did you push past them?